She is in my trunk
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
