I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
