some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
