nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My feet surprised me
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