i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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