i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
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