I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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