Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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