Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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