I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
