I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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