He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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