I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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