I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
