Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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