she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize