don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
