I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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