I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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