Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize