Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
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