I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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