Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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