I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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