Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
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