i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
