We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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