So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
