peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
