I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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