How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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