Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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