Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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