FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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