the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
well you can't waste a boner
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
