i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
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Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
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That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.