Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
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I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
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I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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