just come out here and I will go home with you...
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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