it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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