She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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