i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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