Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
