she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
