Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
