we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I wish they made helmets for livers.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
