He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
