I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
