9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
