We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
