im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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