sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize