Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
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Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
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Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize