South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
