walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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