Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
