Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
