The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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