Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
