If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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