She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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