Small penises have feelings too.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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