Whatcha textin bout Willis?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
