so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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